River of Dreams

 

 

I had one of those nightmares that doesn’t go right away when you wake up.  It was about work; I won’t share the details, not because it was that bad, but because it was about work and everyone knows you don’t talk publicly about work, right?   It was along the lines of being late to school, or going to school/work in your underwear.  The thing about those kinds of dreams, in fact dreams in general, is the feeling behind them.

That feeling, for me, is that you have lost control of your life.  Even though you thought you were doing well and had it together, you find out it was all a sham and you have been knocked off the fence, thrown down a well, taken out with the garbage, or left adrift in shark-infested waters.  You have nothing, no-one, no safe place—or if there is one, you can’t get there from here.  It is a shame-based dream and gathers up all the times in my life when I actually felt that way—kind of a dream attack of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I have had one really terrible work-related experience in my life and I think at times I flash back to it.

I don’t really know the triggers.  Of course, there is stress at work and a few other places, but not any worse than I have felt at other times.  Other than the political scene. To my non-political readers you may not understand how those of us who hope every day for sane, peaceful, and caring leadership feel when it seems like that will be the last thing to happen.  It is personal; it feels like betrayal, that somewhere mean people are having the last laugh.  It seems as though everything that has been fought and worked for so many years has bit the dust, been flushed down the toilet and is blowing in the wind.  Along with the current battles on immigration, voting rights, gay marriage, a living wage, and health care for all, I hark back to the earlier fights by mine workers, suffragettes, and black people throughout our country. 

Am I exaggerating?  Is it just another bump in the road?  How much damage can be done until the next next election when the votes shift in the other direction?  I fear for a lot of things that I hope will never come to pass:  overturning the ACA; overwhelming poverty and need due to funding cuts; harsh treatment of undocumented immigrants; repression of minorities and gay people; and the logical outcome of gun-toting Americans flooding our supermarkets and playgrounds.

Any one of the above causes me to feel the dream-like sense of hopelessness while awake.  For now, I will continue to believe the average American will return to sanity and change the direction in which we are currently headed.  If that doesn’t happen, this will a nightmare for all of us from which we will not awaken.

Post-Mortem

The post-mortems have begun, liberals trying to answer the eternal question of "Why do people keep electing the same greedy immoral people over and over again?"  In endless verbal and Facebook debates I have heard many explanations, such as, in no particular order:

1. The black community doesn't get out and vote.
2. White Democrats don't get out and vote.
3. Fox News
4. They hate Obama
5. abortion
6. religion
7. They are uninformed
8. They are sheep and believe everything they're told
9. Voter fraud
10. People like rich, powerful people, no matter how they get their money and power

So, now for the Barbara Griffin theory of the Election Apocalypse:  There is a huge disconnect in people's minds over who they are and who they vote for.  I have the hardest time with people who I know to be good people; they care for others, love animals, do volunteer work and donate to charities.  Some have persevered over tragedies, illness and abuse.  As a whole, they are likable, warm and friendly people.  So why do they, over and over again, vote for leaders who engage in shady business deals, vote against health care and other services for children, the elderly and the disabled?  Why do they vote for those who have made it perfectly clear they consider themselves to be much better people and more worthy of the good things in life?

Sit down and ask them; I have done this and the answers can be surprising.  "I don't like his looks; I don't know anything about him/her; he/she did ___________________ for my uncle/grandmother/cousin; I think they're all crooks, might as well stick with the one I know."  Before Obama was elected the first time I actually heard someone call him Satan.  For some, allowing gay marriage and/or abortion will do it.  And then, of course, there are still the ones that believe our President is a Muslim Kenyan.  The thing is, they really don't know the platforms or beliefs of any of the candidates, including the ones they vote for.

Yesterday's disaster is still part of the anti-Obama (and blatant misinformation) campaign waged by the extreme end of the Republican party which most of us sane people realize has a whole lot to do with the color of his skin (not even his race--after all, he's as much white as he is black). 

I'd like to believe that good people will respond to logic and truth.  What I do believe is that a few more years of Republican obstructionism will wear on the good--and needy--people of this country.  I for one am definitely "Ready for Hillary"!

 

Sermon

 

 

 

 

I was not raised in religion and contrary to many people, my older family members became less interested in religion as they aged.  We certainly considered ourselves Jewish, and I still do now.  I think the label would be “secular Jew” if I wanted to use a label—which I don’t.  I don’t like labels at all including agnostic or atheist.  I have attended services at a synagogue and visit churches for funerals and weddings.  I don’t like being a part of anything that either forces or guilts me into doing things I don’t want to do, and organized religion clearly falls under that heading. 

I am not “anti-religion” per se, I understand how and why people believe as they do and have no interest in trying to convince someone otherwise.  It would be great if people who are religious would accord me the same respect.  In big cities it’s easier to blend in and not feel a pull to model your life along the lines of someone else’s.  If you are a part of a large extended family that includes religious and cultural customs you’ll probably do as they do.

My thinking is not totally concrete; I have a sense of spirituality and order in the universe.  I don’t believe in one Supreme Being; mostly I think we just don’t have enough information to understand the why of things.  How can a human being grasp the concept of infinity?  It makes me dizzy to think the universe is either finite or infinite; I don’t think we have the mental capacity for that to make sense.  I’m inclined to believe there is a scientific explanation for almost anything we can conceive but also that there are many things we can’t conceive.

More and more these days I find that religion can be a destructive force in the world.  Not that this is new information, but I actually feel the waves of hatred in the air.  Everyone feels threatened by some group somewhere.  The main groups, Islam, Judaism and Christianity, although historically sharing a history and many beliefs, all feel threatened by each other.  Each group has been persecuted throughout their respective histories as well.  I grew up knowing more Jews than Christians; now I live in an area where Christianity is an assumption rather than an option.  Who you are and who you hate is your heritage.  Saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is a clear offensive onslaught. 

I can’t say I believe in a future or past Messiah, but if I read the signs I might think the Apocalypse is imminent.  Honestly, I have no idea what I should do about that.  Overall, I think I’m a good person, if that is the deciding factor. 

I really don’t understand the continued dialogue about Christians being under attack, or there being a “war” on Christmas.  Every retail establishment across the country begins their Christmas displays and sales in early October.  In the south there are no items for sale denoting any other religions for holiday celebrations or otherwise.  When I want to purchase a menorah or candles I have to do so on-line.  Never mind Islamic or Hindu symbols, no point in looking. 

I know it is what it is and my feelings won’t change anything.  I just feel a need to point out that we are at risk, as a nation and as humans, when we practice intolerance for those who believe differently from us.  If you define yourself as “good” why not join that with “person” and not just “Christian”?

Stranger in a Strange Land

I have decided I am sane and therefore it must be the world that is crazy.  OK, not the whole world; fortunately I do know other sane people.  Yes, it's subjective--but I'm certain I'm right. 

Americans have gone stark raving mad about the Ebola virus threat.  This includes people I normally see as intelligent and clear thinking are talking about not shaking hands, not traveling by air, liberal use of sanitizing gel and avoiding everyone who has traveled by plane ever.  Plush Ebola toys have been manufactured and are out of stock.  Of course, it is highly political.  From the right wing we know it is a plot by Obama (although I'm not clear on the purpose of this plot); the CDC doesn't know what they're doing; he should have appointed an "Ebola Czar" and the one he appointed is clearly not qualified.. 

The scientific facts don't seem to concern anyone espousing these beliefs.  I am back in time to the early 80s when it was dangerous to touch a gay person because you could catch AIDS.  Anyone who had sex with more than one person, ever, was terrified, and people found every avenue to get secretly tested.  Feelings about Ebola, so far, seem more representative of xenophobia than homophobia.  But the right wing speculators are working diligently to affix the blame to someone they perceive as left wing (Obama will do for now).

Diseases and epidemics have existed as long as there has been life on this planet.  In the past, this has had the capability of decimating populations.  In parts of Africa, where medical knowledge and treatment availability is limited, this is still a possibility.  However, western medicine is now able to contain contagion and successfully treat affected individuals.  I am confident this current epidemic will eventually fade into history and eventually become just another treatable disease. 

No question that sensible precautions should always be taken.  Even before this, infections have been rampant in the health care field.  Hospitals are the biggest sources of infections such as MRSA (methicillin resistant staphylococcus).  Training and oversight are emphasized and use PPEs (personal protective equipment--gowns, masks, face shields) are to be stringently enforced whenever there is potential exposure to blood and bodily fluids.  So, it seems like common sense would dictate that your risk is quite low if you are not a health care worker, have not been to West Africa, and have no symptoms whatsoever.  I'm afraid, though, regardless of all these facts the games will continue to be played.

On a totally separate subject, a woman in Florida is still fighting for her freedom because she tried to keep herself from being killed by her violently abusive husband.  The man has a well documented history of violence and abuse of women, yet he walks the streets freely, while she is under house arrest.  Maybe that's just Florida, but it seems like the number of crazy state is increasing exponentially. 

I'm thinking of avoiding the news and all potentially controversial conversations with humans, but I'm open to suggestions.

FACTS?

I read this, and was particularly struck by the word indisputable:


Indisputable Facts Republicans Really Won’t Like Seeing

August 22, 2014 By Allen Clifton 1 Comment

§                          1) Right now there are millions of Republicans benefitting from the Affordable Care Act – who still want it                    repealed.

2) Conservative icon and legend Ronald Reagan tripled our national debt during his eight years in the White House. 

3) George W. Bush was the first president to lose the overall popular vote in 112 years. 

4) Republicans control the House of Representatives despite losing the overall popular vote by 1.5 million votes. 

5) History will always show that President Barack Obama was in the White House when we located, and killed, Osama bin Ladin. 

6) They oppose birth control, abortion, homosexuality and women’s rights, while believing that government should be based on religious principles… and by “they” I mean Islamic radicals. Though I bet most people were thinking of an entirely different group of people with similar beliefs. 

7) In our Pledge of Allegiance, the phrase “under God” wasn’t added until 1954. 

8) Tens of millions of conservatives rely on Social Security and Medicare to survive – and both programs are forms of socialism.

9) During a 2012 GOP presidential primary debate, conservatives in the audience booed a solider who was currently serving in Iraq… and not a single Republican candidate on stage defended him. 

10) There’s not a single mention of God, Jesus Christ or Christianity anywhere in our Constitution.

 

Ok, if you're a liberal, you agree with all of the above.  If you are a Republican, Conservative, Tea Partier you don't.  Has it always been that so many people disagree with facts?  Do facts really exist?  These are things that have been documented, witnessed, researched and defined.  And yet.  Not to mention that there are still people out there who believe, in no particular order:

1. President Obama is a Muslim.

2. President Obama was not born in the United States of America.

3. President Obama does not salute the American flag (assumedly because of 1. and 2.)

4. The Holocaust is a fabrication created to get sympathy for the Jews.

5. All Jews will go to hell (because they are Jews).

6. Three year olds can be taught to safely use guns.

7. Evolution is a liberal and unproven theory.

8. All followers of Islam are inherently violent.

 

It is indisputable that I have directly heard, or read, with my own eyes and ears, people make those statements.  It is also indisputable that each of these 8 statements is completely and totally false.  False just as the 10 statements preceding are true.  (Honestly, I'm not sure about the Hell thing, or who actually makes those decisions--God, Jesus, Jehovah or Allah or Someone we haven't heard of yet). 

 

I'm pretty sure that there's a direct link between those people who do not believe the first list and do believe the second, and it begins with "I heard it on the news".  Do you even have to ask which "news" they are referring to?

 

 

 

VACATION VERITY

 

 

“We pray that we may not fall into the error of pride by considering ourselves as exceptional, alone in all Creation in having Souls, and that we will not vainly imagine that we are set above all other Life, and may destroy it at our pleasure, and with impunity.”--- Adam One, Founder and Leader of God’s Gardeners.

From:  The Year of the Flood, by Margaret Atwood*

 

Absence from, or loss of family is the saddest thing we humans experience.  At my current stage of life, loss becomes quite frequent.  I have lost my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and other people that have been very close to me.  Along with the loss, permanently etched on the heart part of my brain, is the feeling of guilt that frequently pops up in my thoughts.  What could I have done differently?  Could I have prevented something from happening?  For me, and I think for a lot of women, the most profound loss was my mother. 

Of course I still do have family:  my two children, a daughter-in-law and a son-in-law, my grandson, my brother, his wife and daughter and of course my husband.  Some are further away than others and all are important to my life.  In addition, there is my four-footed family.

Pet losses are more frequent, generally speaking; our pets have a shorter life span and tend to be more accident-prone than most people.  As I write down the names of those I have lost, from childhood on, I realize they have also left tracks on the heart/brain as well.  Thinking of each one, I feel the tears forming and the pain—and the guilt—that comes with them.  Those who come to mind (over a 50+ year period) are Blacky, Tuesday, Happy, Rhett, Spanky, Miss Kitty, Chloe, Penny, Irish, Rocky, Daisy, Rosie, Trooper, Howie and Cash.  There have been others with shorter stays, strays and visitors, but the ones I have listed were truly family.  The circumstances of the losses were each different, but all painful to remember.

My definition of family rests on the belief that it consists of beings to whom you will always feel a connection and sense of responsibility.  Neither time nor distance totally erases that from that brain place I mentioned, whether the time is days, weeks, years or forever.  When my children were young I sometimes had to go out of town for my job.  Days took care of themselves, but nights I lived with a sense of anxiety about leaving them at home.  Not anxiety that they were not cared for, just anxiety that it was wrong to be away from them. 

My current “nuclear family” consists of my husband Lamar and Arty, Johnny, Murphy, Lili and Henry—the four-footed family members.  It feels wrong to be away from them as well.  Again, I don’t have the anxiety about them being cared for—I have a wonderful substitute Mom, Dawn Cox, who understands my anxiety and texts me regularly to let me know that all is well.  Which circuitously brings me to the topic of “Vacation Verity” which didn’t make any sense to me when Tom Strait listed it as a topic, but I have now figured it out:  Are you really having a vacation when you leave home if you’re carrying everything and everyone with you all the time?  For me the answer is that I rarely ever actually “vacate” for any length of time.  I have a dim awareness that not everybody thinks this way and an awful lot of people don’t think of their pets as their family.

Maybe I’m tying two things together that don’t belong—but in my scribbled up brain they do.  Family is not a static entity, the center shifts over time and it is what you feel it to be.  The dogs meet my definition of family.  My view of the world of animals mirrors the quote at the beginning; we are all part of the grand design, no matter who or what you believe created it.  I don’t think I really need a vacation from that.

 

 

*The Year of the Flood, by Margaret Atwood, copyright 2009 by O.W. Toad, Ltd, published in the United States by Nan A. Talese, Doubleday, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

 

 

 

Dirty Hands

No, this is not about crime or perversity, but about actual dirty hands.  The kind you get from newsprint, especially when you’re sweating on a subway train.  I don’t expect my readers to be familiar with subway trains—but sadly, too many people are not familiar with newsprint either. 

Growing up, my family regularly read the New York Post since it was news “light” (or at least lighter than the New York Times).  There was also the Daily News, the Daily Mirror, the Brooklyn Eagle and probably a few others that I don’t recall.  The Daily News was the “yellow” journal, the others closed up shop a long time ago.  Due to my parent’s political persuasion, The Daily Worker was also frequently found in my home.  In college I read the NY Times frequently, especially on the subway and liked to try to do the crossword puzzle.  These days, the NY Post and the Daily News are indistinguishable, so that leaves the Times for the city newspaper reading populace. 

Of course, very few people actually buy and read newspapers any more, preferring the speed and news bytes available on line (which resemble both the Daily News and the NY Post).  Some rely on Facebook and Twitter or People Magazine.  With those sources it seems like the most important news of the day relates to Kardashians, Bachelors and Bachelorettes and cat videos.  Personally, I find the most reliable actual news, with no access to the New York Times, to be on NPR.  A close second to that is Jon Stewart; although technically he is a comedian, he presents his humorous takes on actual news events. 

I could get philosophical here and talk about what is actual news and what is reality.  I would agree that perception can vary widely as everyone interprets “facts” to suit themselves.  It’s kind of like the “Blind Men and the Elephant”* which would lead to the assumption, which I heartily endorse, that those who report news are lacking in some basic sensory skills (if in doubt, tune in to FOX news any day of the week). 

For sanity’s sake, I believe in an objective reality, things either happen or they don’t.  I believe wars, climate change, crooked politicians, racism and poor and unavailable health care are current realities. I believe there are people who would rather lie about the realities than make things better and are generally motivated by self-interest rather than the greater good.  I believe people use religion for the same selfish motives.  I also believe that I will not get this information from local news sources so I will continue to endeavor to piece it together using my own brain and available resources. 

I am not naïve enough to believe that any of this will change or we will go back to a time of intrepid truth-seeking reporters and editors with integrity.  I personally know of two newly minted reporters who have that potential and I wish them the best and hope they prevail.  For the rest of us:  occasionally get your hands dirty and always check Snopes.com.

                                             

* Blind Men and the Elephant John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)

It was six men of Indostan

 To learning much inclined,

 Who went to see the Elephant

 (Though all of them were blind),

 That each by observation

 Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,

 And happening to fall

 Against his broad and sturdy side,

 At once began to bawl:

 "God bless me! but the Elephant

 Is very like a WALL!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,

 Cried, "Ho, what have we here,

 So very round and smooth and sharp?

 To me 'tis mighty clear

 This wonder of an Elephant

 Is very like a SPEAR!"

The Third approached the animal,

 And happening to take

 The squirming trunk within his hands,

 Thus boldly up and spake:

 "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant

 Is very like a SNAKE!"

 The Fourth reached out an eager hand,

 And felt about the knee

 "What most this wondrous beast is like

 Is mighty plain," quoth he:

 "'Tis clear enough the Elephant

 Is very like a TREE!"

 The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,

 Said: "E'en the blindest man

 Can tell what this resembles most;

 Deny the fact who can,

 This marvel of an Elephant

 Is very like a FAN!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun

 About the beast to grope,

 Than seizing on the swinging tail

 That fell within his scope,

 "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant

 Is very like a ROPE!"

 And so these men of Indostan

 Disputed loud and long,

 Each in his own opinion

 Exceeding stiff and strong,

 Though each was partly in the right,

 And all were in the wrong!

 

 

 

 

Ten Things I Am Tired of on Facebook and in The Rest of the World in General (in absolutely in no order whatsoever)

 

1.       Pictures of cute cats with misspelled sayings (can I haz a cheezburger plz?)

2.       Guns, everywhere and all the time.

3.       False events and quotes (especially pictures of horribly dying babies) that can easily be verified on Snopes.com but are perpetuated by people for years even when you TELL them it isn’t true and SHOW them what is.

4.       People who may or may not be Tea Party wing-nuts who are sure they know more than the President of the United States although they never have a single FACT to bolster their claims.

5.       Videos posted by white people featuring black people who say really stupid things.

6.       Guns, everywhere and all the time.

7.       “News” about Kardashians, Britneys, Mileys, Jersey Housewives, and Michael Jackson’s children.

8.       “Baby bumps” on all of the above.

9.       TV Bachelors and Bachelorettes

10.   Guns, everywhere and all the time.

 

I hereby respectfully request that the Gods of the Internet and Tabloid publications remove all the above and leave me with blank paper and a blank screen.  That is all.

Stuff It!

 

 

 

I had my desk drawer opened the other day and my husband noted a large number of keys floating around in there.  Logically he asked me what they were for and I responded “Not a clue!”  That inspired him to write his most recent column, and apparently inspired me as well.

 

I really can’t tell you why I keep those keys, other than the fact that I have always believed keys are important even if I don’t know what they open.  After all, they’re metal, they’re heavy, and cut in intricate patterns.  Maybe I can make an arts and crafts project out of them.  That would have to be after I do the project with all the wine corks I’ve been saving for the past few years.  Which comes after I frame the pictures that need framing and put the others in albums in an organized fashion.  And after I organize all the columns I’ve written in the past two years and the plays I have collected, written and plan to write. 

 

I thought this was a column about accumulating stuff, but it appears I have drifted off course and am writing about my procrastination.  However, I now realize I hate to write about my own character flaws, so let’s get back to stuff.

 

Everyone has stuff, even people who claim not to be materialistic.  Intellectual-type freethinkers who ride bikes and drive beaters, sleep on mattresses on the floor and have thrift shop wardrobes become mad dogs if a fingerprint is left on their prized LP or CD.  Some people, who may or may not be named Lamar, collect books instead of money and value them accordingly.  Our primitive ancestors relied on collecting natural objects until they found tools, and then they created their own irreplaceable treasures.  I think that the fewer actual resources people have the more likely they are to value the stuff they do have.  Just ask anyone who has lost his or her possessions in a fire or natural catastrophe. 

 

Even my dogs have their own stuff.  Little one-eyed Johnny loves dog treats; not so much to eat, but to keep in his dog bed and growl at anyone who comes near.  A large collection of dog toys are carried around and sometimes incite ownership disputes.   Most domesticated animals become attached to a blanket, toy or found treasure.  Let’s face it, all living creatures want all they can get and never have enough.  We just all want different things.

 

A lot of our needs are the intangibles, such as our place in society and feelings of esteem, but we frequently seek to fill those through things we can see, touch, taste or smell. 

As humans, we differ greatly in what stuff makes us feel good, and what we feel compelled to accumulate.  Some people place greater emphasis on physical gratification, while others focus on spiritual and intellectual needs, but unless you’re a mystic on a mountaintop, you’re going to want and have a lot of stuff.

 

There have been two times in my life when all my worldly possessions fit into my car.  For those brief times, I remember feeling free.  I had what I needed:  clothes, a pot or two, personal grooming items and my dog.  Once I was re-established, however, the insidious process began again.  Dishes, furniture, things to hang on walls, more pots and pans, appliances, etc. etc. seem to multiply like rabbits.  The last time I moved the amount of stuff was mountainous and mostly unnecessary. 

 

I think having so much stuff is somewhat paralyzing, like all those projects I’ve never completed, or even started.  It’s presence is either literally or figuratively a closet, packed so full that if you open it you will be buried under an avalanche of shoulds—or maybe just old shoes and handbags.  Once every couple of years I find the burst of energy that impels me to clean house and fill trash bags that I then cart to a thrift store bin, because yard sales take way too much energy and organization.

 

Recently I’ve been asking myself what are the things I cannot bear to be without.  If I eliminate basic needs and living beings, I’m left with things that make me feel good and occupy my mind.  The latter involves book and my ever-increasing computer dependency.  Feeling good, for me, has several aspects.  I like to be among things that remind me of people I love: pictures, gifts and keepsakes.  I don’t know much about feng shui, but I know colors, placement and a sense of order create inner peace. 

 

An interesting exercise would be to list 10, and only 10, things you cannot imagine not having when you wake up each day.  In these economically troubled times, it might be reassuring to see how little you really need to live the meaningful life.

 

Addendum 2014, My Ten Things

 

MY

1. Cell phone
2. Laptop computer
3. Shaved ice machine
4. Make-up mirror
5. “Purlie Victorious” album
6.  red boots
7. Picture of my mother’s family
8. Om plate from Kolkata
9. Glass “Peace” plate
10. Wedding ring

 

 

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

 

 

I know most people would prefer to read humorous blogs or just witty observations on daily life, but these days, that gets harder and harder to do.  Every time I feel I have found some part of life that inspires me and feel like I can do some good, it seems like the negative side of human nature intervenes and it all comes crashing down.

Liberal politics seem to be a lost cause in Georgia and now we may have to wear bulletproof vests everywhere we go.  Hopefully they are already manufacturing toddler and child-sized vests because t-ball games are also at risk.  I’ve given up trying to understand the mindset of people who think this is all okay.  I also realize that the only people who will read my blog or applaud Jon Stewart are liberals.  Because the tea-partiers, wingnuts and NRA faithful don’t read much at all.  They may listen to sound bites on Fox News or read convenience store publications that feature everyone who has been arrested for everything (maybe looking for their relatives?).

So I thought that animal rescue would be a safe place to be—after all, people who are devoted to saving the lives of innocent creatures have to be good people, right?  It seemed for a while that the love of animals was a bridge between people from all walks of life and political viewpoints. I suppose basically they are good people—but sadly I’ve learned that a lot of them, in their love for animals, sort of leave people out of the equation. 

I don’t know if it’s a characteristic of the south or just small towns in general, but it seems like all the “do-gooder groups” I have been a part of eventually fall prey to power plays and caste and turf wars.  I even suspect the Civil War is not quite over with some individuals and groups.

I am not naming names or casting blame, but I’m sad.  I don’t understand why people feel a need to be rude and derogatory to those who don’t follow their path.  Please, if you believe in what you’re doing, just do it!  Why is it necessary to degrade and verbally abuse others?  How does that help anything?  Neither my political views or passion for animals will change or diminish, but I may just have to operate within my own little world by the rules and values that make sense to me. 

 

 

In My Shoes

 

 

             

     

                      

 

 

I find myself spending ridiculous amounts of time doing google searches for things from my past.  I guess nostalgia comes with age and unlike my parents, I can google up the past.  As with all young women, clothes were very important; I never had anything resembling a clothes budget growing up so I was always out of style.  Summer jobs during my college years allowed me for the first time ever to shop for myself. 

Aspiring to hippie-dom, the place to go was Greenwich Village.  One summer I fell in love with a store with it’s own line of dresses.  I found one on sale made of a gauzy material with huge butterfly sleeves; not very practical, but I loved it!  Because it was sheer, it came with it’s own green slip and it was almost impossible to keep all the straps in line.  But all through college I remember craving a couple of items I could never afford:  a navy pea coat and Fred Braun shoes.  Many years later, I have a pea coat since they’re back in style.  All through college I wore my high school jacket from I had painstakingly removed the orange letters that spelled “Jefferson”.  It was wool navy so it resembled what I really wanted.

The above pictures are of the shoes and the Greenwich Village of my memory.  Two of the shoes shown are ACTUALLY IN A MUSEUM!!.  The sandals are at the METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART!! (Excuse the caps, but I do find it amazing that shoes I wore are IN A MUSEUM).  I actually had a pair of t-straps like those pictures (on sale, of course) but they were not open back.  I never had the sandals or the oxford-types, but it did seem like everyone else did.  The shoes with laces are very rare and sell for ridiculous prices; none are available now—I guess those who had them wore them slap out.

Looking at these pictures creates the same lust I had then; the feeling that my life would definitely change for the better if I just had the right shoes.  There was another hand-crafted shoe store in the Village at that time, Lombardo’s.  I did finally get a pair of their sandals in a similar style and felt somewhat better. 

Somehow I don’t think clothes represent the same thing these days—there are just too many.  Discount stores and inexpensive imitations abound, so everyone can at least pretend.  Styles change so rapidly that no one item can ever really have that stature for long.  Of course, there are always the “in” brands and designer labels, but it just doesn’t seem the same.  I know it meant so much to me because I felt like I was the only one who couldn’t have what everyone else had. 

I’m a long way from desiring things that much and tend to value comfort and quality over fashion at this point in my life.  And honestly, it’s been years since I’ve seen anything that would even come close to a Fred Braun shoe.