Me and the Supremes

                                                   

 I do try, when I sit down to write, to ask myself if I will say something that hasn’t been said a thousand times before either by me or someone who has said it better than me.  So let’s go with the new information transmitted by Facebook this week.

It’s been an exciting week for Facebook, with two ground-breaking decisions by the Supreme Court and the proposed removal of the Confederate flag following the horrific massacre in Charleston, SC. 

Fortunately, everyone agrees that the massacre was horrific.  Less agreement about the Confederate symbolism.  The new information on this topic is the growing belief in certain circles that the way to deal with shootings of black people by white people is to arm the black people (to keep the body count equal, I assume).

There is even less agreement with the Supreme Court decisions.  I learned nothing new about the health care decision and am just glad it is still with us.  The other historic decision, of course, is about marriage.

I am also gleeful about that decision and mostly found support from my Facebook friends who are my Facebook friends because they do understand what is right and just (I can say that, it’s my blog).  There has been a lot of Bible quoting and referencing, some more accurate than others.  I have heard that homosexuality is an abomination, it is the worst sin there is, but also that in the Old Testament it’s not that bad overall.  The Old Testament offers that the worst sin is lack of charity.  I tend to agree with that one as much as I agree with anything biblical.  I even did my own research and noted that there is a homosexual reference in Leviticus, but most of the other citing are from the New Testament. There is a lot of posting to the tune of “Love the sinner, hate the sin”.  Some postings have been very eloquent and detailed even when arriving at the same conclusion.  Also one posting from a “used to be gay” guy who found the Lord and thereby stopped sinning. 

I try to be open to new ideas, I really do.  I can’t say that I read these things without bias—but I did so without prejudice.  I can say that because my opinion is informed, both by what I have read and what I have learned from my almost 70 years of life experience. I believe my length of living gives me the right to advise, counsel, guide and teach.  It does not give me the right to moralize.

I have known more than a few gay people over the years.  I can’t say I’ve loved them all, but I have loved some and got to know them.   To me and one Episcopal Priest I knew years ago, a sin is knowingly causing harm to another (person or animal).  Therefore, the other Christian/Biblical sins, greed, adultery, lying, cheating, murder, etc. meet that qualification.  Homosexuality does not.  A homosexual can certainly be guilty of all those other sins, but not because of his sexuality.  No one has ever informed me in a logical manner how two men having sex causes harm to another human being. 

Molesting children is a sin; being gay does not make one a child molester.  Cheating on your spouse is a sin for heterosexual and homosexual individuals.  Being homosexual isn’t a sin just because you are heterosexual.  The gay people I know have known are kind, caring, funny and creative.  Not a child molester in the bunch.  Some have been guilty of adultery by living a lie in a marriage before becoming who they are.  The door is still open to someone explaining to me (NOT by quoting the Bible) how I am misguided.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I am not now nor have I ever been a Christian.

I still would be interested in the story of the “used to be gay” guy and exactly how that works.  Is he automatically aroused by women now?  Does he avoid sex entirely?  Does he just close his eyes and use his imagination when he has sex with a woman?  Seriously, I would read  be rational discourse on the subject. 

In the meantime, I cannot agree to disagree or love the sinner but not the sin.  If you love someone because they are who they are then that love includes them being lesbian, bi-sexual, gay or transgendered.* 

 

*Transgender is whole ‘nother topic for a whole ‘nother day.

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Shoot 'Em

I supposed it’s possible I’m the most naïve white girl south of the Mason-Dixon line or maybe just someone who has never quite believed that there aren’t monsters in the closet, but…..  Is it just me that thinks violence and hatred in our country has gotten a little out of hand?  Sure, everyone is talking about the latest mass shooting or racially charged police violence and the memes are populating faster than bunny rabbits in heat, but…..  Guns are legal everywhere for everyone at any time.  The best answer so far is…..get rid of the Confederate flag!  Everyone is jumping on that bandwagon!

At least until now.  At least in Waycross, Georgia.  Where a local African-American minister is starting a movement to solve the problem by urging his flock—and all the sisters and brothers—to arm themselves.  Yes, if everyone at church is packing then they will be ready for the next racist mass murderer that sits among them.  Again, maybe it’s me, being an alarmist or just not seeing the whole picture.

Unfortunately I see lots of pictures in my mind and they all involve blood, senseless death and a new generation of memes.  There are many people, symbols, and groups still left to blame.  Fox News remains available, the KKK is still alive and kicking and even without the Confederate flag, and no one can stop the good old boys from plastering bumper stickers on their pickup trucks. 

I have problems with the idea that the way to stop senseless violence is for everyone to be armed.  I can’t say I have the ultimate solution, but continuing to fight for less guns and more control seems like the only rational option.  This is not a popular philosophy in Georgia right now or in most Southern states, but popularity has never been my strong suit.  If all I can do is express my opinions and join with like-minded people, than that’s what I’ll continue to do.  Being a Democrat is not very popular in this part of the world either—but I’m not going to change that belief either. 

A world that requires everyone to be armed to survive sounds like either the old west, a third world dictatorship, or the zombie apocalypse.  It doesn’t sound like home.  We should remember that Martin Luther King Jr. changed our country and inspired us with a message of peace.  We should be ashamed of how far we have slipped and how far we are from achieving his goals; but we should never forget the message.

 

Random Musings on a Short Vacay

(I don't know if "vacay" is really a word--I've heard it used, so it makes sense for a short vacation)

 

1.        AAgghhrraak!  A sound I make when my husband seems to be driving off the road or is inches away from another vehicle.  When I make that sound he says “Don’t make that sound!  Nothing is wrong, we are perfectly safe”!  Did I say inches from another car?

2.       Movie audiences in Tampa are different from those in Waycross.  Or at least at the one I were at; no cell phones used, no screaming babies, and the audience applauded!  They applauded an animated movie!

3.       Everyone, with one exception, was nice and polite.  The one exception, however, was glaring.  A young woman (and I use the term loosely—based on what she was wearing she was obviously female) wearing shorts that were at least 3 sizes too small to cover any appreciable portion of her anatomy was walking with a friend and a small child.  The three of them completely blocked that path of traffic in the mall parking lot.  Then they stood still while “shorts girl” proceeded to style her friend’s hair.  Lamar waited patiently for a little while then tried to go around them.  At which point “shorts girl” accused Lamar of attempted murder.  I had to respond to that by reminding her she was blocking the road; her answer was to call me a cheap c—-t.  I was proud of that.

4.       A very nice young woman waiting with her daughter at the movies began a conversation telling us how impressed she was to see old people at an animated feature (she didn’t actually say “old people” but it was implied).  We had a lovely conversation while we waited and she suggested places for us to visit.

5.       I can easily amuse myself counting how many biscuits a person can consume at Cracker Barrel.    Cracker Barrel gets boring after the 2^nd visit in 3 days.

6.       After visiting the Dali museum in St. Petersburg: 1) Great artists can only become great when they know some very rich people; 2) Very rich people instantly become respected art critics.

7.       I’m sure everyone else already knows this, but new information for me:  Ybor City is the go-to place for tattoos and smoking apparatus. 

8.       Two recommendations:  1) the Dali Museum is a great experience; and 2) The Columbia Restaurant in Tampa is worth the trip.  If you go, ask for Damon, he’s a great waiter!

TransHuman

Sometimes I question whether I have a right to even discuss racial issues; after all, I am obviously Caucasian.  What do I know about racial prejudice?  I do know about being Jewish, Yankee, female, being of a lower socioeconomic status and having unpopular political beliefs (at varying times and places).  But I don’t know how it feels to be Black, Latino or Asian.  But wait—apparently that doesn’t matter anymore!  In fact, you now you can choose your sex and your race.  No matter how you came into this world biologically, you can make decisions at any point in your life to become something different. 

Transgender people use medication and surgery to make the change;  changing your race requires liberal use of tanning lotions and doing strange things to your hair.  This is all well and good, I suppose, and basically none of my concern.  If I have no relationship to a person who does these things I certainly agree.  I respect an individual’s right to live as they choose and will call them whatever they choose to be called.

However, I can have an opinion.  I can speculate how I would feel if my mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother, employer, co-worker, et al would make those changes.  I once had a co-worker whose brother-in-law had previously been her husband’s sister.  From what she said, this fact was known by everyone in the family—except the man’s wife and children.  The children, of course, were adopted; the story was that he had some kind of injury to his reproductive system.  In addition, he had changed his surname and religion (although I don’t know what that had to do with his gender).  I couldn’t help but wonder about the awkwardness of family gatherings.  I guess they didn’t share old photo albums.  Also had to wonder about what happens when his children do find out the truth—because you know they will someday.

I can see that you can deal when you know it’s happening; it’s a logical progression.  When someone in your family is uncomfortable in their skin and talks about it, it’s not a shock when they actually make the change.  However, that is a far different issue than the current media hurricane surrounding Rachael Dolezal.  The general summary is that her parents “outed” her and depending on your viewpoint this is either a natural occurrence or a travesty infringing on her rights. 

Just thinking logically here, how would I feel if a child of mine acted to the world as if they were not biologically connected to me?  If said child had actually been adopted and was biologically of a different race, I can see no problem with identifying as one race or the other.  Dark skinned children of mixed parentage do tend to identify with the darker race.  Society identifies them with the darker race.  But a fair-skinned, blond, freckled biological child deciding in mid-life to identify as another race and completely deny their actual heritage?  Yeah, I’d have a problem with that.  There is speculation that her family was dysfunctional and that is why she disconnected from them.  Only she knows—and she ain’t saying.

Honestly, the thing I have the most trouble with, really, is dishonesty.  Dishonesty to your family, your peers, the world at large is not admirable not matter how wonderful the actions that follow.  Culturally we seem to be sending mixed messages these days.  Dishonest politicians—bad.  Dishonest bankers and businessman—bad.  Liberals believe that being proud of your race is good—if you’re Black, Hispanic, Asian or Native American.   The Tea Party faction believes it is ok to be proud of being white.  So, is it bad to be liberal and proud to be white?  Can you see why I’m confused?  Is it not okay to fight for the rights of all people even if you don’t look like them?  Can you not be comfortable with a group of people that look different from you and still be proud of who you are?

I am proud of my eastern European heritage but I count African-American people among my friends.  I am comfortable in groups of people that accept me and respect me for who I am.  If I have to pretend to be someone else or look like someone else to feel that level of comfort, then it’s all a sham.

So—why does Caitlyn Jenner have to be a sexy cover girl to be okay as a woman—and why does Rachael Dolezal have to be black to be an advocate for black people?  Anyone have any good answers to those questions?  I shudder to think what will happen when we have A.I.* beings to deal with.

*Artificial Intelligent

Totally Un-Correct

 

 

There’s a few things that that I know are considered “politically correct” yet leave me with a feeling of unease.  I may be on the totally wrong track, so I hope my readers will help me reason it out.

1.        It’s prom season everywhere.  The recent trend is for groups who may be usually left out of this rite of passage get their revenge by having their own proms.  Separate but equal?  There are black proms, white proms, and gay proms.  Today I read about a prom for the autistic students/siblings in a particular school.  The non-autistic students put it together and made it into an all-out project, taking the opportunity to organize pre-prom teaching sessions for learning all the social graces.  By all accounts, a good time was had by all.  So what’s the problem?  Does anyone else see a “separate but equal” trend for diversity? 

Imagine you are the autistic teen; your wish has been answered.  You are dressed up, there is music, dancing, and surrounded by the cool kids and the pretty girls.  And they are dancing with you!  Does this change anything?  Will those kids go on a date with you?  Invite you to their next party?  Hangout in the summer?  I’m guessing not.  I’m further guessing that high school will always be divided into groups and one glorious night is not going to change that.

 

2.       I somehow just became aware that parents and adults in general have taken ownership of the phrase “Good job!” to praise children for virtually everything they do.  At face value, this is good, right?  Positive parenting, fostering self-esteem, yada yada yada.  I’ve heard it used for putting up toys, eating one’s meal, pooping in the potty, walking—well, virtually everything.  I was probably made a neurotic mess by my parents, but I don’t remember getting praise for bodily functions or necessary chores.  I never doubted that they thought I was special, but I sometimes wonder about the ego inflation currently being pumped continually into the small children of today.  Will it be a shock when they enter the real world and learn that not everyone thinks everything they do is a “good job?” 

 

3.       Last, and probably least:  I am all about gender equality and it's high time anyone who wants to get married be allowed to do it legally.  Also, people should be allowed to decide what sex they want to be.  No argument from me.  I’m just asking for a little patience with old folks like me.  It still takes me a few minutes to get that a man can have a husband and a woman can have a wife.  Also, that you now have to address someone who has a penis as “she”.    Just one more sentence as a lead-in (e.g., Judy is married to a woman or Jane used to be a man called Jack).  Is that too much to ask?