Dirty Hands

No, this is not about crime or perversity, but about actual dirty hands.  The kind you get from newsprint, especially when you’re sweating on a subway train.  I don’t expect my readers to be familiar with subway trains—but sadly, too many people are not familiar with newsprint either. 

Growing up, my family regularly read the New York Post since it was news “light” (or at least lighter than the New York Times).  There was also the Daily News, the Daily Mirror, the Brooklyn Eagle and probably a few others that I don’t recall.  The Daily News was the “yellow” journal, the others closed up shop a long time ago.  Due to my parent’s political persuasion, The Daily Worker was also frequently found in my home.  In college I read the NY Times frequently, especially on the subway and liked to try to do the crossword puzzle.  These days, the NY Post and the Daily News are indistinguishable, so that leaves the Times for the city newspaper reading populace. 

Of course, very few people actually buy and read newspapers any more, preferring the speed and news bytes available on line (which resemble both the Daily News and the NY Post).  Some rely on Facebook and Twitter or People Magazine.  With those sources it seems like the most important news of the day relates to Kardashians, Bachelors and Bachelorettes and cat videos.  Personally, I find the most reliable actual news, with no access to the New York Times, to be on NPR.  A close second to that is Jon Stewart; although technically he is a comedian, he presents his humorous takes on actual news events. 

I could get philosophical here and talk about what is actual news and what is reality.  I would agree that perception can vary widely as everyone interprets “facts” to suit themselves.  It’s kind of like the “Blind Men and the Elephant”* which would lead to the assumption, which I heartily endorse, that those who report news are lacking in some basic sensory skills (if in doubt, tune in to FOX news any day of the week). 

For sanity’s sake, I believe in an objective reality, things either happen or they don’t.  I believe wars, climate change, crooked politicians, racism and poor and unavailable health care are current realities. I believe there are people who would rather lie about the realities than make things better and are generally motivated by self-interest rather than the greater good.  I believe people use religion for the same selfish motives.  I also believe that I will not get this information from local news sources so I will continue to endeavor to piece it together using my own brain and available resources. 

I am not naïve enough to believe that any of this will change or we will go back to a time of intrepid truth-seeking reporters and editors with integrity.  I personally know of two newly minted reporters who have that potential and I wish them the best and hope they prevail.  For the rest of us:  occasionally get your hands dirty and always check Snopes.com.

                                             

* Blind Men and the Elephant John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)

It was six men of Indostan

 To learning much inclined,

 Who went to see the Elephant

 (Though all of them were blind),

 That each by observation

 Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,

 And happening to fall

 Against his broad and sturdy side,

 At once began to bawl:

 "God bless me! but the Elephant

 Is very like a WALL!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,

 Cried, "Ho, what have we here,

 So very round and smooth and sharp?

 To me 'tis mighty clear

 This wonder of an Elephant

 Is very like a SPEAR!"

The Third approached the animal,

 And happening to take

 The squirming trunk within his hands,

 Thus boldly up and spake:

 "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant

 Is very like a SNAKE!"

 The Fourth reached out an eager hand,

 And felt about the knee

 "What most this wondrous beast is like

 Is mighty plain," quoth he:

 "'Tis clear enough the Elephant

 Is very like a TREE!"

 The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,

 Said: "E'en the blindest man

 Can tell what this resembles most;

 Deny the fact who can,

 This marvel of an Elephant

 Is very like a FAN!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun

 About the beast to grope,

 Than seizing on the swinging tail

 That fell within his scope,

 "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant

 Is very like a ROPE!"

 And so these men of Indostan

 Disputed loud and long,

 Each in his own opinion

 Exceeding stiff and strong,

 Though each was partly in the right,

 And all were in the wrong!

 

 

 

 

Ten Things I Am Tired of on Facebook and in The Rest of the World in General (in absolutely in no order whatsoever)

 

1.       Pictures of cute cats with misspelled sayings (can I haz a cheezburger plz?)

2.       Guns, everywhere and all the time.

3.       False events and quotes (especially pictures of horribly dying babies) that can easily be verified on Snopes.com but are perpetuated by people for years even when you TELL them it isn’t true and SHOW them what is.

4.       People who may or may not be Tea Party wing-nuts who are sure they know more than the President of the United States although they never have a single FACT to bolster their claims.

5.       Videos posted by white people featuring black people who say really stupid things.

6.       Guns, everywhere and all the time.

7.       “News” about Kardashians, Britneys, Mileys, Jersey Housewives, and Michael Jackson’s children.

8.       “Baby bumps” on all of the above.

9.       TV Bachelors and Bachelorettes

10.   Guns, everywhere and all the time.

 

I hereby respectfully request that the Gods of the Internet and Tabloid publications remove all the above and leave me with blank paper and a blank screen.  That is all.

Stuff It!

 

 

 

I had my desk drawer opened the other day and my husband noted a large number of keys floating around in there.  Logically he asked me what they were for and I responded “Not a clue!”  That inspired him to write his most recent column, and apparently inspired me as well.

 

I really can’t tell you why I keep those keys, other than the fact that I have always believed keys are important even if I don’t know what they open.  After all, they’re metal, they’re heavy, and cut in intricate patterns.  Maybe I can make an arts and crafts project out of them.  That would have to be after I do the project with all the wine corks I’ve been saving for the past few years.  Which comes after I frame the pictures that need framing and put the others in albums in an organized fashion.  And after I organize all the columns I’ve written in the past two years and the plays I have collected, written and plan to write. 

 

I thought this was a column about accumulating stuff, but it appears I have drifted off course and am writing about my procrastination.  However, I now realize I hate to write about my own character flaws, so let’s get back to stuff.

 

Everyone has stuff, even people who claim not to be materialistic.  Intellectual-type freethinkers who ride bikes and drive beaters, sleep on mattresses on the floor and have thrift shop wardrobes become mad dogs if a fingerprint is left on their prized LP or CD.  Some people, who may or may not be named Lamar, collect books instead of money and value them accordingly.  Our primitive ancestors relied on collecting natural objects until they found tools, and then they created their own irreplaceable treasures.  I think that the fewer actual resources people have the more likely they are to value the stuff they do have.  Just ask anyone who has lost his or her possessions in a fire or natural catastrophe. 

 

Even my dogs have their own stuff.  Little one-eyed Johnny loves dog treats; not so much to eat, but to keep in his dog bed and growl at anyone who comes near.  A large collection of dog toys are carried around and sometimes incite ownership disputes.   Most domesticated animals become attached to a blanket, toy or found treasure.  Let’s face it, all living creatures want all they can get and never have enough.  We just all want different things.

 

A lot of our needs are the intangibles, such as our place in society and feelings of esteem, but we frequently seek to fill those through things we can see, touch, taste or smell. 

As humans, we differ greatly in what stuff makes us feel good, and what we feel compelled to accumulate.  Some people place greater emphasis on physical gratification, while others focus on spiritual and intellectual needs, but unless you’re a mystic on a mountaintop, you’re going to want and have a lot of stuff.

 

There have been two times in my life when all my worldly possessions fit into my car.  For those brief times, I remember feeling free.  I had what I needed:  clothes, a pot or two, personal grooming items and my dog.  Once I was re-established, however, the insidious process began again.  Dishes, furniture, things to hang on walls, more pots and pans, appliances, etc. etc. seem to multiply like rabbits.  The last time I moved the amount of stuff was mountainous and mostly unnecessary. 

 

I think having so much stuff is somewhat paralyzing, like all those projects I’ve never completed, or even started.  It’s presence is either literally or figuratively a closet, packed so full that if you open it you will be buried under an avalanche of shoulds—or maybe just old shoes and handbags.  Once every couple of years I find the burst of energy that impels me to clean house and fill trash bags that I then cart to a thrift store bin, because yard sales take way too much energy and organization.

 

Recently I’ve been asking myself what are the things I cannot bear to be without.  If I eliminate basic needs and living beings, I’m left with things that make me feel good and occupy my mind.  The latter involves book and my ever-increasing computer dependency.  Feeling good, for me, has several aspects.  I like to be among things that remind me of people I love: pictures, gifts and keepsakes.  I don’t know much about feng shui, but I know colors, placement and a sense of order create inner peace. 

 

An interesting exercise would be to list 10, and only 10, things you cannot imagine not having when you wake up each day.  In these economically troubled times, it might be reassuring to see how little you really need to live the meaningful life.

 

Addendum 2014, My Ten Things

 

MY

1. Cell phone
2. Laptop computer
3. Shaved ice machine
4. Make-up mirror
5. “Purlie Victorious” album
6.  red boots
7. Picture of my mother’s family
8. Om plate from Kolkata
9. Glass “Peace” plate
10. Wedding ring