BLUE CHRISTMAS

Lamar loved Christmas.  Also Hanukkah and Birthdays and anything that involved giving gifts.  He loved to give gifts and he loved to shop more than any other man I know.  This is the first Christmas/Hanukkah in 17 years without him.

He always got me a ridiculous number of presents for both my birthday and Christmas.  Sometimes he made it a game by hiding presents around the house and insist I do a scavenger hunt to find each one.  He always said he never enjoyed celebrations or gift giving until he met me.  The last gift I got from him was a stuffed animal for my birthday from the grocery store because he was no longer up to doing any real shopping by that point.

I don’t feel much like celebrating or decorating this year but my dear friend Debra agreed to help so our little “Hanukkah Bush” is up alongside our nutcracker collection and a menorah.  I have done the basic amount of shopping for my family, because I need to express my love for all of them and it’s something we do together, no matter how far away we are. 

I can’t express the love and gratitude that way for everyone else who has meant and done so much for me these last 3 months because it’s just too big.  I can only hope that in some way I will have the opportunity to also do for them.  So thank you Julie, Jimmy, Monse, Debra, Sandy, Don, Judy, Lionel, Patrice, David and Liz; and my family:  Josh, Evan, Jessica, Jovan, Tristan, Julian, Jocelyn and Ivey.  It does take a village and I am forever thankful that I have one.